Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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