why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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