I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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