i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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