the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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