the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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