How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
