I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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