Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
