That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize