I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
