I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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