can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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