He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
