I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize