I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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