You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
