i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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