I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
