Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my shit smells like andre
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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