i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
