My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
