I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
