so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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