just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
