you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
