Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
