did you get engaged???
nut hugger
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
