i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
