just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize