if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
