WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
