Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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