sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
