I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
