we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
