If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
