I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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