Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
