just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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