A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
