I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
