The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
