24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
