two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
