Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
