Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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