I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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