Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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