Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
