Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
