I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
