The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
