Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The air was thick with penises
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
