batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
