Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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