How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
