Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
