Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm having to shit out rocks
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