So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
