you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
