Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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